This morning, I’m listening to NPR’s Sunday Story, which today is about the trends in who is buying guns, when, and why. (You can scroll down if you just want to see the cards, but meanwhile I’m going to reflect for a moment first.)
I grew up around guns personally. Partly this was because I spent much of my childhood living in a subsistence hunting and fishing community in rural Alaska. But it’s also because my dad and several other family members are veterans. A few times family members and friends have taken me to a range and taught me some basics around the handling of guns.
I’m not a big fan of guns myself. First, I’m a vegetarian, so while I recognize the need for others to do subsistence hunting, it’s not for me. I’m sad that subsistence hunters need to kill animals to feed their families for the winter, but I also recognize that (at least in rural Alaska) they do so with a lot of attention to changing seasons and the health of herds, and it’s not just for fun–there is some respect for nature built in.
But second, with regard to people using guns for self-defense, I am also skeptical. I did draw cards on this, but I’m telling you my own bias first. I am skeptical about guns because firing a gun at a human being, and frankly even pointing a gun at a human being, is you walking through a door in time that you cannot walk back through. If I am walking down the street toward the grocery store, and I change my mind and decide I am not going shopping today, I can turn around and walk the other direction. No big deal. We change our minds about the choices we make all the time.
But when you shoot a gun, or honestly even point one at someone, you have made a choice you cannot undo. If you do so in defense of others or in defense of your country, maybe that’s a good choice that you would never want to undo, and yet, even then, you will be forever changed by the experience. I’ve often heard veterans say that if you weren’t there, then you don’t understand. I wasn’t there and I don’t understand, but I can reason that if you were there and no one who wasn’t there can understand, then what you are saying in part is that you were permanently changed by the experience. There is a before and after. There is before you were permanently changed, and after. You can’t walk back through that door and change your mind. Whether you stand by your choice or not, you can’t change your mind and undo it.
The reason I say that is true even if you just point a gun at someone is that my grandfather, a veteran of World War II, told me that you never point a gun at someone unless you plan to shoot them. Period. (Pausing for a story: My grandmother did jokingly point a gun at him once, inside her father’s store. My grandfather replied, “Don’t you point that gun at me,” and she said, “It’s not loaded,” pointed it at the ceiling, fired, and blew a hole in the store roof.) Anyway. My point is that if you point a gun at someone, the intention to shoot them is in your mind. You are reckoning with the possibility of taking a life. Even the serious consideration of such a thing will change you. If you don’t believe me, think of other serious decisions you’ve made, such as the decision to ask someone to marry you, perhaps. You know that even thinking about it has changed your self-conception of who you are in some way that really can’t be undone even if you decide not to follow through with the idea.
All right, the cards. I pulled from the Wild Unknown Tarot. My question was this: What is the relationship with power that takes place if you are planning to defend yourself with a gun, versus if you are planning to defend yourself by using words to deescalate the situation?
First, I asked about the gun scenario.
I first pulled the Seven of Cups, a card that is about choices, appropriately since this would be a choice. This card is fascinating to me under the circumstances because one of the cups shows a field extending out from the cup; it almost seems as though the cup is standing in for a gun. It almost looks as though one choice has stepped out in front of all the other choices in order to protect them, though the protection extends throughout a certain geographical field. It even looks like it could represent someone in the military or a similar group, with the other cups arrayed in formation in back. The suit of cups appearing here is also interesting all by itself, because tarot’s cups relate to emotions and relationships–which is what human wars and violence so often arise from.
So, in my little two-card spread, the Seven of Cups was the first card, representing the situation being asked about. The second card here, the Eight of Pentacles, is something more to know. Here we have a spider in a web, with eight pentacles caught in that web. To me the spider’s web says that the situation is sticky, that you can get caught in this web. I more typically read this card as about the work it takes for the spider to spin the web; the eight pentacles typically makes me think of work that earns one’s income, but today’s question isn’t about work but about the power dynamics of using a gun. It seems to me that once you draw a gun and point it, you are stuck there in that moment for some amount of time. Perhaps you are stuck because you are in a stand-off of some sort. But if you have fired the gun, you are stuck in a web of consequences, consequences that, the Eight of Pentacles implies, you have earned through your own actions. You are stuck with the aftermath, Son (of Cups, who we see at the bottom of the deck). You are stuck, and perhaps the spider will come over and immobilize you in order to save you for dinner. Maybe you protected somebody and maybe not; maybe you’ll eventually get out of this web and maybe not; either way, you are stuck for the moment, and you can’t really complain (well, you can, but) because you earned that spiderweb.
This is simply the dynamic you’re working with, whether you think it was a good idea to fire the gun or not. Whether you think it was the right thing to do or not, here come the consequences and you are stuck with them. And if you’re an adult, Son, you’re going to have to admit that.
Let’s look at the power dynamics that arise when you are thinking in terms of using words to deescalate the situation. Here, I first drew the Father of Wands (which would be the King of Wands in many other decks). To me, the Kings and Queens in tarot appear as leaders; they care about the kingdom and will even put themselves in jeopardy if they have to, to take good care of those around them. This is what the King does if he, she, or they chooses to use a carefully chosen word, like a stick that can point at something, rather than the sharpness of a physical weapon.
This King is just as passionate as the gun user; I associate the Wands suit with fire and passion. But the King is also a creative thinker, who has thought through the consequences and is, with hope and curiosity, trying to find a way through that is nonviolent and safe for the community, a way that very likely is not obvious in any rational way. But this King is thinking, perhaps if we work with the situation, perhaps if we are curious about what is out there in the dark, perhaps if we poke around a little with our stick, we can find a way.
You can see that both this King and the Hermit next to it are in the dark. They don’t have a way out in mind. They are searchers who are searching, the King with his stick to try to touch something gently from a distance, and the Hermit with his lamp to equally gently shed light on the situation, in an attempt to learn more and maybe find a peaceful way out. This Hermit, armored in a shell, is certainly proceeding with caution. And notice that under the deck, the Two of Wands card offers two choices, two choices that are in alignment with the very same suit that this King is from.
This King doesn’t know what those two options are. This is the King who has ventured forward with almost nothing, bringing, though we don’t see the Fool, a lot of the Fool’s energy (and plenty of people will think this King, relying only on words, is an absolute fool), of setting out on a path without knowing how things will go. This King is armed mainly with courage and curiosity. We can hope that this King, operating mainly with words, has brought some really good ones. But who can say?
But before you decide that this nonviolent option is the option for fools, just take a second to notice: This King is keeping the ability to pivot. This King is not stuck in a web. This King still has a future to work with. Maybe this King will even lie or deceive to find a way out. But a lie, even though I’m not a fan of lies, is still less violent than a gunshot.
On the subject of power, and the dynamics thereof, I have to conclude that a gun limits one’s options, while using words maintains the possibility of many options. I do actually think that having more options is a more powerful position than having only one or two.
And at the end of the day, the King of Wands who uses words to explore the situation and to try to deescalate is also going to be more popular than the Son of Cups who, if that gun is fired, if that gun kills someone, is going to be stuck in a web that labels him a monster. Maybe you’re thinking that popularity shouldn’t be part of the equation. But, we’re trying to build community here, right? So like it or not, you’re going to have to convince other people to agree with you.
And truthfully, the Son of Cups likes to reach out to people. He loves people. I think he wouldn’t have even picked up a gun if he wasn’t so caught up in how much he cares. He really has no business with one.
And I’ll tell you something else, Son. I didn’t spin this post out of crystals and raindrops, but out of my study of political science, out of my reading of Machiavelli, of Hobbes, of realpolitik, out of spending last summer reading everything I could about Watergate. One of Nixon’s henchmen had an inspirational quote on the wall in his office. Maybe you know that quote because it’s pretty famous: “If you grab ’em by the balls, their hearts and minds will follow.” Well, Son. If you plan to grab ’em by the balls, you’re not going to accomplish that with the barrel of a gun. You’re going to have to use your hands. You’re going to have to take chances, you’re going to have to get close, you’re going to have to build trust. You’re not going to do any of that unless you first convince yourself that people who disagree with you are actually human. And by the time you convince yourself of that, by the time you wine them and dine them and have heart to heart conversations with them, yes, there is a real risk that you might not feel like shooting them any more. There is a real possibility that the situation will have changed. There is a real possibility that you will have changed each other.
And there is a real possibility that you will have protected your community without the use of violence.
Thank you for reading.
Quiet Bonnie 