Today I pulled the reversed Two of Pentacles and the Page of Swords. To me, these cards represent a problem and a solution. We are all juggling so many responsibilities, and many of them are doing our juggling handicapped by emotional issues such as depression and anxiety — and in many cases, that depression and anxiety are present on a truly mammoth scale. It’s either financial anxiety related to the recession, or other personal issues that come about in connection with the recession — at least in a lot of cases. Either way — there are days, like today, when the juggling is too much and we can’t keep all those balls in the air. (Reversed Two of Pentacles) Instead, the balls are rolling around on the ground and we are running willy-nilly after them — or, perhaps more likely if there are emotional issues going on as well, we are wanting to just give up, curl up in a fetal position, and wait for a better day. That’s a normal impulse that we should not be ashamed of. Life is overwhelming at times, and who wants to deal with that? Nobody.
But, the Page of Swords is here to encourage us to find a way to stand up and fight. That’s so difficult to do when you are curled up in a fetal position in a dark closet trying to hide from the problems. But the enticement is this — that somewhere deep down, we all want to speak our truths. (See all the blue throat chakra color in these cards?) Somewhere deep down we resent the unfairness and we want our day in court — so to speak. The Page of Swords is offering us a weapon to fight back with — the sword of truth and honesty. We can react to the dropped balls by getting in touch with people and saying honestly, hey, I dropped the ball. I was overwhelmed, it was too much shit for me to deal with, and dude, I dropped the ball. I’m sorry. If you respond in this way, you may be able to work the situation out that you thought was unworkable. Honesty is an astonishing tool. We tend to think that if we are honest with people, they will see us for what we are (worthless — because if we are thinking this way our self esteem is pretty low at the moment). And we think there is no way that anyone will give us a second chance if we are honest about how weak and vulnerable we may be feeling or about how much we are currently struggling with personal issues. However, it often doesn’t work that way. People are moved when you speak truth to them — moved to try to find a way to help you pick up the scattered balls and get them back in the air — or maybe even moved to volunteer to take one of the balls off your hands.
If you are dropping balls all over the place, try honesty. It just may the one tool that will save your ass.