To hear me read this post aloud, click here: audio for August 1, 2024 blog post
This is going to be short and blunt.
Stop calling people you disagree with “idiots.” Stop calling them “mentally ill” as well. Particularly in politics.
I was going to start that last paragraph with the word “please,” but fuck that.
Because this isn’t a request and it’s not about being polite.
I care about being polite, a little, but not as much as I care about how you use your power, how we all use our power.
Take a cool second and consider what you’re doing with your words.
First, you’ve all, by now, heard the comment (and I’m sorry that I can’t find the exact quote or source) that one shouldn’t use sexist language because our daughters are listening, our sisters are listening, our mothers are listening. But that also applies to a lot of the other language I hear used. Our elders are listening. Those of us who struggle with mental illness are listening. We hear what you are saying using words that could equally well be used to describe us. And people who are actually functionally impaired (which is what a mental illness is, whether it’s temporary or more chronic) are not your enemy. We are just struggling to get through our day. If you are mad at someone who is out in the world every day actually doing and saying stuff, then you are probably not mad at someone who is mentally ill.
Second, you are using words like “idiot” and “crazy” to describe people whose policies you don’t like. I simply must ask, why don’t you attack the bad policies instead? If you have a specific problem in mind, name it. Name it! Educate us all.
If you don’t name the problem, and choose to call names instead, you are not helping your cause. You are confusing people with your lack of clarity. You are driving people away from your side. And you are contributing to a situation in which information doesn’t matter and neither does reasoned argument: What matters now, according to YOU, the person using such language, is who can shout louder.
Third, calling your enemies stupid, saying they have dementia, or saying they are mentally ill does not hold them accountable. Instead, it excuses their bad behavior. Because apparently, they didn’t know any better. So when you use this kind of language, you are helping them by handing them a shield. And this Scorpio, this person born under a sign ruled by the god of war, this person who spent years training in martial arts, is asking you: Why would you do that? That’s not effective fighting technique.
Effective fighting is more like the following: Your opponent attacks you; you step off the line and deflect if you have to. When you see an opening, you commit to it for all you’re worth; get in and get out. Maybe there is a time and a place for a smokescreen but it can’t be all the time. If you insist on filling the air with bullshit, then yes, I suppose your enemy can’t see where they are going, but most of the time, neither can you. Then you’re both stumbling around, I won’t say “like idiots” since I just told you not to, but like, let’s name it: people who did not think this through.
Your smokescreen will almost always confuse you and leave you coughing and distracted. You think your words are so safe because you learned them on the playground as children, but I think we all know that children play with plenty of things that are not safe, because they don’t know any better. And unfortunately, neither do most of you.
These people you consider to be your enemies? They are human. I know that as a chaplain but I also know that as a fighter, and I invite you to consider both sides of what being human means. Humans take actions for reasons; they try their best in life, actually. When people do and say things that you don’t like, I invite you to consider: Why do they think that this is the best thing they can do or say right now? Stop thrashing around in the smokescreen of your own hate and try to assess the situation more like a calm assassin would.
When people do bad things, there are two possible explanations: They made a mistake, or they did it on purpose.
If they made a mistake, that’s easily addressed, right? You can educate and you can also offer some grace, because we all make mistakes.
If they did it on purpose, then you need to look at the situation much more carefully and ask yourself why. Then the next step is to coolly assess what some possible responses or reactions might be. At this point, you’re in a chess game, and no one has ever won a chess game by having a tantrum. Maybe you have a reasoned strategy, maybe you’re relying on intuition, maybe you have some kind of trick up your sleeve, but regardless, you are definitely not going to win by losing your equilibrium. You need to keep it together.
Why do you think the samurai practiced Zen meditation? Why do you think they didn’t go around calling each other names?
Because they wanted to win.
Note: The featured image at the top of this post is the Three of Swords from Lo Scarabeo’s Samurai Tarot. It shows a samurai who has taken off his armor and set aside his swords in order to meditate under a cold mountain waterfall.
Quiet Bonnie 