Or is it? Is the first battle, really, figuring out who you are? I don’t think so, actually. Who you are may change contextually. Your role is different in different relationships and in different times and places. If it’s ever-shifting, why does it matter so much?
Because everything depends on it.
Think about it this way: your options, your strategies, your choices in the moment depend on your position. That that position changes is a given. The moment you wake up and sit up and look around you, you’ve changed your position from what it was when you were sleeping. For once I don’t mean that metaphorically, but literally.
Do you see how deeply it can weaken you if you are conflicted about your position, if you’re fighting a battle within your soul, if you are in a position of rebelling against your very situation?
You like what you like, you don’t like what you don’t like, but your situation is what it is, except of course that it isn’t, because the moment you’ve assessed it and made your peace with it, you’ve changed it.
So, fire up some ruthlessness, so you can live the life instead of second-guessing it.
In this deck, by the way, the wand cards are all ghosts. Does that affect your interpretation of these cards? In the LWB that goes with the deck, the Nine of Wands entry includes this quote from Nichiren: “If your heart remains steadfast, the ice becomes hot, the snow warm.” I don’t think the ghost on the Nine of Wands card is the monk. I think it’s the mountains. The LWB entry for the Seven of Wands says, “There are times when there is no demon in the demon, no man in the man.”
To quote Phil Ochs, “Oh, I know you’re set for fighting, but what are you fighting for?”
We’re all tired. Save some energy and consider yourself and your opponent. Ever watch a fight in a movie and watch the shift when the protagonist suddenly remembers who they are and decides to go for broke? It’s not about a burst of energy, or not only about that, although that goes with it. It’s also the realization of who you are and what the true advantages and disadvantages of your current position are. It’s about seeing the way out or the way through–often the high risk way out, the way out that requires you to do exactly the right thing at the right time and do it perfectly. That’s all I’m suggesting! It’s just that if you do exactly the right thing at the right time and do it perfectly, you’ll be much less tired.
I have a form of narcolepsy (idiopathic hypersomnia), by the way. To me, taking the high risk long shot and saving energy looks like wisdom, but your mileage may vary. Maybe you’re brimming with energy and ready to fight yourself and everyone else! To each their own.