It’s time for the Beltane blog hop! You surely remember how this works: use the links at the top and bottom of the post to hop around to the other posts in the hop. The master link in the middle will bring you to the list of all the participants’ posts, just in case the previous or next link is broken.
Our topic this time, from our delightful wrangler Raine Shakti, is to develop a spread around the Lovers card, to revisit choices we’ve made in our lives, or another related topic, and to keep it PG-rated. This is going to be an “other topic” post. I realize many (most?) readers do see choice, not just love, in the Lovers card. Because, and this is true: There can’t always be a lover looming on the horizon! However, I don’t personally tend to read the Lovers (or for that matter other scary cards, like Death) metaphorically. I see the thinking. I just don’t agree with it. Because there are 77 other cards that could come up if love does not need to be under discussion. So I almost always see the Lovers card as being fundamentally about love, though NOT necessarily romantic love: The Lovers is about the healthy love that is echoed in the other 6s of the deck: the grace, forgiveness, and heartfelt childlike innocent offering of the Six of Cups; the mutuality, respect, back and forth and give and take of the Six of Pentacles; the recognition and celebration of self of the Six of Wands; and yes, the movement, when it’s needed, of the Six of Swords.
There’s a whole critique of patriarchy and frankly, also a critique of injustice and hate, built into the Lovers card, y’all. “LOVE. EACH. OTHER. RESPECTFULLY. KINDLY. TENDERLY. DON’T MAKE ME COME DOWN THERE!” the angel is saying. And what is the angel NOT doing? Telling you WHO or WHAT to love. The direction is simply, love. With all that implies. Love the empty room you’re in, if need be. Love the air. Love the earth. Love that today is Sunday! Love that I didn’t post about politics for once!
And what are the Lovers NOT doing? Not hurting each other, for one thing. They’re looking at each other, usually. They SEE each other. They GET each other. And you know what else? They’re not wandering off to a tarot reader to ask, “Is this real or is this person wasting my time?”
No one who is trying to authentically relate to you is wasting your time. I just need to tell you that when I hear those words, “is this person wasting my time?”, I immediately lose respect for the person saying such a thing.
Love is not capitalism. You’re not investing your time in people. If you think you are, then you are the one wasting the other person’s time.
“Bonnie, you don’t seem to realize that my time is very valuable.”
To you! It’s not a commodity! And neither is your love! And you don’t even have time! Time isn’t even a thing! But that’s another issue.
“But there’s give and take involved.”
Let me tell you something. Sometimes the give and take consists of one person giving, and then telling the taker, “hey, just pay it forward.” No, strike that. ALWAYS the give and take is at least in part a matter of “hey, just pay it forward.”
And you know what else? Sometimes love isn’t reciprocated. But that’s okay, you can just pay that love forward too.
That you would ask “is this person wasting my time?” is proof that capitalism has fucking poisoned you and you need to detox right now.
If you see the Lovers card in your spread, I direct you to notice that it contains ALL the other major arcana cards too. It starts with faith. (Does the Fool ask, is this path a waste of my time? No. Or, is my little dog friend a waste of my time? No.) It continues with intuition (the High Priestess). It goes further with nurturing each other (the Empress). And oh Lord then the power struggles start (the Emperor). But if you get through those, you do it by teaching each other to understand (the Hierophant). There’s progress and you move forward, everything is great, you can take that Chariot around all the bases, if it’s that kind of love. (Sorry, I forgot for a minute this was supposed to be PG.) You’re going to have to refill the Chariot’s gas tank with some Strength, though. And the Lovers isn’t always togetherness, it isn’t always the Star, the Sun, the World. Sometimes it’s the Hermit, the Hanged Man, Death, the Tower, Judgement. Sometimes it’s the Devil, but give the Devil his due, the Devil is a mediator, a negotiator, a dealmaker, and if you want that partnership with the Lover to work, you just might need a helpful Devil. Cause you know where the Devil works? At the crossroads. In other words: in Temperance Land. The liminal. Doing the impossible: finding the bridge between the worlds.
Oh, was I not supposed to say that? Is that a big secret? Don’t just dip your toe in the water of the liminal. Come on in, the water’s fine!
So: You’re tired of the lecture and wondering where the spread is. Okay.
Using the Lovers card as inspiration, or not, lay out cards, in whatever order you prefer: a card for yourself and your partner (or proposed partner), a card (or two) for who is watching over you and why, a card for who you are together, and, perhaps, for extra credit, a card for how you feed each other (or if you’re not together, how you would feed each other if you were). Modify the spread as needed. If you’re polyamorous, add more cards. If you’re focused on self-love, then remove the partner card. If you have special concerns, add cards for those. But: you have to be in the spread, do this spread for yourself. This is not your chance to tell your friends or family who or how or what or when or where to love. This is not Florida. This is not a totalitarian state here in this blog. You may use my spread to inspire your loving but you may NOT use it to inspire your hate.
Share your results in the comments, if you’d like! You can draw randomly, or, if you want to take a “tarot for manifestation” approach, choose your cards consciously (you can do that? yes, I usually don’t, but you sure can, and if the reading is for a wedding, please do!).
I love the variety of your decks, and the way you weave them together. I have tended to see the lovers card in two ways, the first is its a problem of choice, and decisions, the second is that as a card of commitment, sooner or later you meet with the path of excess, and/or having to face that commitment’s consequences when/if the Devil card appears.
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Ooh, I like the idea of it being a card of commitment. Not necessarily even a formal commitment–for example, everyone has certain friends who they might not see or talk to for a long time but if that person showed up one day and needed them to do something, they totally would, no questions asked–and we usually can’t really say why, it’s a mysterious thing, but there just is a commitment there.
I love this spread and your thoughts about the lovers card. I am definately going to give this spread a go.
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Such an innovative spread! Thank you for speaking your truth and sharing your journey ❤
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You’re welcome, thank you for your kind comment!
I always like the decks you use and usually am off looking them up if not before I finish reading (that excited for the cards!) then as soon as I finish. LOL. The Numinous has been on my wish list for a long time. I might finally get it. The spread looks great, but I’m obsessed with the cute little animated decorations. So adorable! And they are good illustrations of the positions as well.
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The Numinous was a big hit the last time I was at Bastille Days. I read with it so much there that I had to retire it for awhile afterward. I love that it has books and libraries on the cards. And bells as swords makes sense to anyone with a lot of sensory issues (me!). But sometimes the correspondences don’t fit as well as I’d prefer.